Are you one of our volunteers? If you are, remember that every volunteer is required to complete one hour of continuing education each year for Hospice Caring to maintain our licensing. You may already have met your requirement for this year without knowing it. These following activities qualify: 

Movie Suggestions

After you become a Hospice Caring volunteer, you might notice caregiving and bereavement themes in movies. If you discover one that’s not on our list, please let us know.

About Schmidt

(Jack Nicholson)

(bereavement)

A retiree suddenly becomes a widower and must readjust to his new life within the context of his daughter’s upcoming wedding.

An Officer and a Gentleman

(Richard Gere, Debra Winger)

(suicide and bereavement)

A young naval officer in training has a romance and must also deal with the shadows of his mother’s and a friend’s suicide so he can find the courage to deserve happiness.

The Bridges of Madison County

(Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood)

(bereavement subthemes)

The story of a housewife who has a romantic affair and the story of her adult children as they discover this after her death.

The Bucket List

(Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholas)

(terminal illness, anticipatory grieving)

Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.

Corrina, Corrina

(Ray Liotta, Whoopie Goldberg)

(bereavement)

When Manny Singer's wife dies, his young daughter Molly becomes mute and withdrawn. To help cope with looking after Molly, he hires sassy housekeeper Corrina Washington, who coaxes Molly out of her shell and shows father and daughter a whole new way of life. Manny and Corrina's friendship delights Molly and enrages the other townspeople.

Eulogy

(Ray Romano, Kelly Preston, Hank Azaria, Debra Winger, Piper Laurie)

(bereavement)

A dark comedy that follows three generations of a family, who come together for the funeral of the patriarch - unveiling a litany of family secrets and covert relationships. Shows how an ordinary and somewhat dysfunctional family somehow gets through the stresses of funeral rituals. 

Ghost

(Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze, Whoopi Goldberg)

(death, bereavement)

Sam and Molly are a very happy couple and deeply in love. Walking back to their new apartment after a night out at the theatre, they encounter a thief in a dark alley, and Sam is murdered. He finds himself trapped as a ghost and realizes that his death was no accident. He must warn Molly about the danger that she is in. But as a ghost he cannot be seen or heard by the living, and so he tries to ccommunicate with Molly through Oda Mae Brown, a psychic who didn't even realize that her powers were real.

Gone With the Wind

(Clark Gable, Vivian Leigh)

(dying, caregiving, bereavement, mourning traditions during the Civil War)

Civil War epic story of romance and southern American history.

The Hours

(Ed Harris, Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore, Nicole Kidman)

(suicide, caregiving)

The story of how the novel "Mrs. Dalloway" affects three generations of women, all of whom, in one way or another, have had to deal with suicide in their lives.

Little Women

(Winona Ryder, Susan Sarandon)

(caregiving, dying, and bereavement)

Louisa May Alcott’s classic story of family life in Massachusetts during and after the Civil War.

Message in a Bottle

(Kevin Costner, Robin Wright Penn)

(bereavement)

A woman finds a romantic letter in a bottle washed ashore and tracks down the author, a widowed shipbuilder whose wife died tragically early. As a deep and mutual attraction blossoms, the man struggles to make peace with his past so that he can move on and find happiness.

My Life

(Michael Keaton, Nichole Kidman)

(dying, anticipatory grieving, caregiving)

A man with cancer prepares for his eventual death and how to leave behind wisdom for his son as his wife deals with pregnancy, mothering, and caregiving.

One True Thing

(Meryl Streep, Renee Zellweger, William Hurt)

(terminal illness, caregiving)

When a tough New Yorker's (Renee Zellweger) mother (Meryl Streep) is stricken with a serious illness, she is forced to quit her job and her relationship with her boyfriend to take care of her, finding out a lot of things she didn't know about her mother and father (William Hurt) and her life along the way.

Ordinary People

(Donald Sutherland, Mary Tyler Moore, Timothy Bottoms)

(accidental death, bereavement)

The accidental death of the older son of an affluent family deeply strains the relationships among the bitter mother, the good-natured father, and the guilt-ridden younger son.

Reach For Me

(Seymour Cassel, Alfre Woodard)

(hospice, terminal illness)

Old and bitter, Alvin just wants some peace and quiet in his last days. His wish, however, is not granted when a young, vibrant and ironically full of life Kevin becomes Alvin's hospice roommate. Through this "odd couple" relationship, Alvin learns that it’s not the minutes in our life, it’s the moments in your life that matter. This is a heartwarming, uplifting, and very funny story of living life to its fullest.

Rocky Balboa

(Sylvester Stallone)

(bereavement throughout)

Boxer Rocky Balboa fights one last boxing match and finds peace after the death of his wife.

The Secret Life of Bees

(Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Sophie Okonedo)

(bereavement)

Set in South Carolina in 1964, this is the tale of Lily Owens, a 14-year-old girl who is haunted by the memory of her late mother. To escape her lonely life and troubled relationship with her father, Lily flees with Rosaleen, her caregiver and only friend, to a South Carolina town that holds the secret to her mother's past. Taken in by the intelligent and independent Boatwright sisters, Lily finds solace in their mesmerizing world of beekeeping.

Shadowlands

(Anthony Hopkins, Debra Winger)

(terminal illness, anticipatory grieving)

In 1952 American poet Joy Gresham travels to England with her young son Douglas to meet with Oxford University professor C.S. Lewis, author of the Narnia books. They hit it off quite well and become good friends even though they are a contrast of opposites: Jack quiet and studious and Joy being talkative and never hesitating to speak her mind. After Joy gets a divorce from her husband and returns to England, Lewis, known to his friends as Jack, even agrees to marry her to allow her to stay in England. Jack is a religious man and doesn't consider their civil ceremony to a true marriage. After Joy falls seriously ill however, he begins to realize just how much he does love her, and in 1956, they are married before God. Joy's illness is serious, however, and while they get to spend a few years together, that time is all too short.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

(Amber Tamblyn, America Ferrera, Alexis Bledel, Blake Lively)

(bereavement, terminal illness, and suicide)

Four young women friends share their lives. As they move through life, one’s mother dies, while another befriends a young girl who is dying of leukemia.

Steel Magnolias

(Sally Field, Shirley MacLaine, Dolly Parton, Julia Roberts, Olympia Dukakis, Daryl Hannah, Tom Skerritt, Sam Shepard, Dylan McDermott)

(chronic illness, death, bereavement)

This is the story of a close-knit circle of Louisiana women. Filled with humor and heartbreak, these "steel magnolias" make us laugh and cry as the realities of their lives in tiny Chiquapin Parish unfolds.

Stepmom

(Susan Sarandon, Julia Roberts, Ed Harris)

(terminal illness, anticipatory grieving)

A terminally ill mother has to settle on the new woman in her ex-husband's life, who will be their new stepmother.

The Sweet Hereafter

(various actors)

(accidental death, bereavement)

A small community is torn apart by a tragic accident that kills most of the town's children. A lawyer visits the victims' parents in order to profit from the tragedy by stirring up the their anger and launching a class action suit against anyone they can blame. The community is paralyzed by its anger and cannot let go. All but one young girl, left in a wheelchair after the accident, who finds the courage to lead the way to the sweet hereafter.

Terms of Endearment

(Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson)

(terminal illness, caregiving, bereavement)

Aurora and Emma are mother and daughter who march to different drummers. The movie covers several years of their lives as each finds different reasons to go on living and find joy.

Truly  Madly Deeply

(Juliet Stevenson, Alan Rickman, Jenny Howe)

(bereavement)

Once upon a time there were two people in love; their names were Nina and Jamie. They were even happy enough to be able to live happily ever after, (not often the case) and then Jamie died. Nina is left with a house full of rats and handymen, a job teaching foreigners English and an ache that fills the night sky.

Two Weeks

(Sally Field)

(anticipatory grieving, caregiving)

In this bittersweet comedy, four adult siblings gather at their dying mother's house in North Carolina for what they expect to be a quick, last goodbye. Instead, they find themselves trapped-- together -- for two weeks.

Book and Article Suggestions

The titles below have been suggested by our caregiver volunteers and staff. For other titles, check out Hospice Caring’s reading list.

Articles

“Caregiving by Men: A Husband’s Perspective.”

By Seth B. Goldsmith. Caregiver.com newsletter, Issue #503, Sept. 16, 2010.

The author shares 10 steps for effective caregiving  as gleaned from five-and-a-half years of caring for his wife, who had ovarian cancer.

http://www.caregiver.com/caregiver_newsletter/

“Circuitry With a Feel for Humanity.”

New York Times, July 5, 2010. Amy Harmon writes about a robotic seal being used in nursing homes and elsewhere to provide comfort and companionship.

www.nytimes.com/2010/07/05/science/o5robot

“Exposure to death and dying can have a positive impact.”

Study by Shane Sinclair in Canadian Medical Association Journal.

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2010-12/cmajetd120110.php#

“Letting Go:What should medicine do when it can’t save your life?”

The New Yorker August 2, 2010

Atul Gawaande addresses the focus of modern medicine upon cures, often to the exclusion of preparing patients to plan for the time they have left.

www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/02

“The New Specialty in Cancer Care.”

Cure Magazine, Spring 2010

Palliative care is catching on in centers across the country, improving quality of life for patients along the way.

http://www.curetoday.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/article.show/id/2/article_id/163

“Remember the Studebaker? Reminiscing as Therapy for Your Parents.”

By Paula Tchirkow. Fearless Caregiver Newsletter Dec. 12, 2010.

Hearing that story for the tenth time may be more valuable than you think!

http://www.caregiver.com under Newsletters, click “Fearless Caregiver”

Books: Nonfiction

101 Ways You Can Help: How to Offer Comfort and Support to Those Who Are Griefing

By Liz Aleshire.

Offers do’s and don’ts of helping grieving families of a deceased coworker, friend, relative, and others.

After Goodbye: How to Begin Again after the Death of Someone You Love

By Ted Menten.

Running Press: Philadelphia, 1994. Gently guides the reader through the stages of grieving with stories of those who have made the journey.

The Art of Racing in the Rain

By Garth Stein. Harper: New York, 2009.

A funny and uplifting story of family, love, loyalty and hope. This book looks at the wonders and absurdities of human life… as only a dog could tell it.

Comfort: A Journey Through Grief

By Ann Hood.

Describes the author’s journey after the sudden death of her five-year-old daughter.

The Goldfish Went on Vacation: A Memoir of Loss (and Learning to tell the truth about It)

By Patty Dann. Trumpeter Books: Boston. 2007

Recounts a mother’s journey as she guides her son through his father’s illness and death.

Good to Go: A Guide to Preparing for the End of Life

By Jo Myers. Sterling: New York, 2010.

This is a collection of real stories about problems that may arise with the death of a parent, relative or friend. It also has information and advice on how to prevent or deal with various issues.

My Stroke of Insight

By Jill Bolte Taylor.

Dr. Taylor, a brain scientist, understood exactly what was happening inside her brain when she suffered a stroke in 1996. Her book tells what it was like to be a recovering stroke victim. It is an invaluable source of information and inspiration.

Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidence

By Gail Sheehy. Harper and Collins: New York, 2010.

The author describes eight stages of caregiving and offers wisdom and guidance for each. She emphasizes the need for care of the caregiver as well as one’s family member. The book covers a wide range of topics for caregivers and their families: developing a care plan, denial, guilt, reconciliation, palliative care and anticipatory grief. It provides numerous resources and a collection of caregiver stories.

When The Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions

By Paula Span.

Described by the author as “a support-group in print,” this book shares the stories of families who faced the decision of caring for parents who could no longer care for themselves. Additional information and a resource list are also included.

Fiction

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

By John Boyne

Eight-year-old Bruno is the sheltered son of a Nazi officer whose promotion takes the family from their comfortable home in Berlin to a desolate area where the lonely boy finds nothing to do and no one to play with. Crushed by boredom and compelled by curiosity, Bruno ignores his mother’s repeated instructions not to explore the back garden and heads for the farm he has seen in the near distance. There he meets Shmuel, a boy his own age who lives a parallel, alien existence on the other side of a barbed wire fence.

Lovely Bones

By John Boyne

In 1973, a 14-year-old girl named Susie Salmon is raped, murdered, and dismembered by a neighbor. Over the next few years, she watches from a personalized heaven as her family and friends deal with their grief. She sometimes becomes angry and frustrated from the choices her family makes while she is looking over them.

The Optimist’s Daughter

By Eudora Welty

This story concerns a woman named Laurel, who travels to New Orleans to take care of her father, Judge McKelva, after he has surgery for a detached retina. He fails to recover from the surgery, though, surrenders to his age, and dies slowly as Laurel reads to him from Dickens. Her father’s second wife Fay, who is younger than Laurel, is a shrewish outsider from Texas. Her shrill response to the judge’s illness appears to accelerate his demise.

Suite Francais

By Irene Nemirovsky

 “Suite Francais” consists of two novellas portraying life in France from June 4, 1940, as German forces prepare to invade Paris, through July 1, 1941, when some of Hitler’s occupying troops leave France to join the assault on the Soviet Union.

Reservation Road

By John Burnham Schwartz

A tragic accident sets in motion a cycle of violence and retribution in John Burnham Schwartz’s riveting novel Reservation Road. Two haunted men and their families are engulfed by the emotions surrounding an unexpected and horrendous death.

The Secret Life of Bees

By Sue Monk Kid

Set in South Carolina in 1964, this is the tale of Lily Owens, a 14-year-old girl who is haunted by the memory of her late mother. To escape her lonely life and troubled relationship with her father, Lily flees with Rosaleen, her caregiver and only friend, to a South Carolina town that holds the secret to her mother’s past. Taken in by the intelligent and independent Boatwright sisters, Lily finds solace in their mesmerizing world of beekeeping.

Talk Before Sleep

By Elizabeth Berg

What do women talk about when they know when they don’t have forever? They talk about what they have always talked about, only they go deeper and more honest: with outrageous humor, they try to mitigate pain. Intimate and uncensored sharing, the kind of connection women prize, is at the heart of this deeply moving novel about the grit and power of female friends.

Sadako

By Eleanor Coerr

Hiroshima-born Sadako is lively and athletic—the start of her school’s running team. And then the dizzy spells start. Soon gravely ill with leukemia, an aftereffect of the atom bomb that fell on her city when she was only an infant, Sadako approaches her illness as she did running—with an irrepressible spirit. Recalling a Japanese legend, Sadako sets to work folding paper cranes. For the legend holds that if a sick person folds one thousand cranes, the gods will grant her wish and make her healthy again.

Same Kind of Different As Me

By Ron Hall and Denver Moore

It begins outside a burning plantation hut in Louisiana…and an East Texas honky-tonky…and, without a doubt, in the heart of God. It unfolds in a Hollywood hacienda…an upscale New York gallery…a downtown dumpster…a Texas ranch. Gritty with pain and betrayal and brutality, it also shines with an unexpected, life-changing love.

Nonfiction

Apples & Oranges

By Marie Brenner

To be sure, some brothers and sisters have relationships that are easy. But oh, some relationships can be fraught. Confusing, too: How can two people share the same parents and turn out to be entirely different? 

Death Be Not Proud

By John Gunther

In Death Be Not Proud, John Gunther explores the process of death: discovery, fighting, living on, and then dying. The process becomes just a little bit easier, as humor, human kindness, and courage are all woven in. More than just about dying, this memoir becomes a study of living. 

Final Gifts

By Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley

This remarkable book by two hospice nurses shows how communication at the end of life takes on special meaning. Touching case stories show how approaching death can give a clarity and importance to how we all relate to one another The book affirms that you can live fully to the very end and that the final gifts received by caregivers can outweigh the human burdens they must carry. Practical suggestions on how to respond to the requests of the dying will be of value to anyone in a caregiving role.

Will the Circle Be Unbroken

By Studs Terkel

Studs Terkel has turned to the ultimate human experience, that of death and the possibility of life afterward. Death is the one experience we all share but cannot know.